Ideal iPhone App

Hey this is the journal i made up! My perfect iphone app would let me read people minds. it would let you know the thoughts of anyone sitting around you. But you could choose whose thoughts you want to read, not just anyone in the area. And it also could let you send anonymous telepathic messages! omg that would be the coolest thing ever. i wish this app was real. except i don't have an iPhone or iTouch so that wouldnt work out.